We often assume that confidence has to be built from scratch. But what if the skill you need is already yours, just waiting to be used in the places that feel harder?
This realisation came to me in the most unexpected way, midway through a gym session, during a warm-up set I’d barely been thinking about. What happened next changed how I lift, how I lead, and how I help others reclaim their agency at work and in life.
The Warm-Up That Changed Everything
I strength train regularly, and like many people, I follow a familiar pattern: start with a warm-up set, then gradually increase the weight. For years, I treated that first set as just that—a warm-up. A check-in for form. A safeguard against overdoing it. Nothing more.
But one day I stopped coasting through it. I realised that I was already putting in the effort just by being there. So why not treat the warm-up with respect? I didn’t need to max out—but I could bring purpose to every lift.
And when I did, I noticed the difference immediately. I was sharper. More focused. Getting better value from the work I was already doing. All it took was a decision to be present.
A Familiar Pattern
It struck me how much this mirrored the way I operate at work—when I’m confident. I prepare thoroughly. I show up on time. I lead with clarity and intent.
So why wasn’t I doing that with my warm-up set? And where else might I be falling into that habit?
That’s when I noticed the gap. I’ve always felt strong agency in my professional life, but I’d been giving it away in my personal life. That disconnect felt out of alignment with who I am—and with the kind of coach I want to be.
Choosing How You Show Up
Agency is powerful. But we don’t always recognise when we’ve stopped using it.
Over the last six months, I’ve been job hunting. Not just any role—I was looking for something that really felt right. And for a while, nothing landed. No interviews. Cancelled meetings. Silence after applications.
Even though I’ve always approached interviews with calm and confidence, this time I noticed my doubts creeping in.
Too senior? Too female? Too experienced? Too expensive?
But I had something to anchor me—my own work, The Confident Leader. It reminded me that I always have a choice: I get to decide how I show up.
And I did. I approached the latest round of interviews with clear intent, just like I do with my clients. Just like I now do with that first lift.
What I See in the People I Coach
I used to assume everyone knew they had agency at work. That they understood the difference between excuses and reasons. But I’ve come to see that many people—especially those who are kind, capable, and loyal—have been so conditioned to accept other people’s direction that they forget they can choose.
They stay stuck in roles that don’t serve them. They wait to be invited forward.
When I first hired my coach years ago, I was the one who was stuck—but in my personal life. I suddenly saw what it feels like when you’re not the one calling the shots. And that gave me new empathy for my clients and the situations they face.
If You’re Feeling Stuck
If you’re reading this and thinking, “But I don’t feel confident anywhere right now”, here’s what I want to offer:
Start small. Choose one thing. Set your intent.
One of the best running tips I’ve ever learned is to focus on breathing out. Your body will look after the in-breath. In the same way, focus on the one thing you can do well today. The rest will come.
You already know how to show up with confidence. You’ve done it before. You can do it again.
Reflection Prompt:
Where in your life do you already act with quiet confidence? What might happen if you brought that same energy to something that feels uncertain?
About Me
As a career coach with decades of leadership experience, I’ve learned that how we show up in the small moments often shapes the big outcomes. Whether I’m supporting clients through interviews, leadership transitions, or career growth, my focus is on helping people realise the power they already have—and use it with intent.
Let’s connect and explore how you can lead with confidence in every part of your professional life.
Ready to turn insight into action?
Join the Conversation
Have you ever noticed that you show up differently in areas where you feel more confident? What helps you bring that same energy into new or challenging situations? Share your reflections in the comments—I’d love to hear your story.
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