I’ve always been a leader. I just didn’t always get the title.
When I was six years old, I was obsessed with Doctor Who. One day in Grade 1, I came up with a brilliant idea: I’d turn my favourite show into a game we could play at school. I gathered my friends, explained the rules, and confidently stepped into the role of the Doctor.
But there was a problem.
“You can’t be the Doctor,” someone said. “You’re a girl.”
Just like that, I became the Doctor’s companion. I still led the game. I still organised everyone. The kids loved it and we played it for weeks. But I wasn’t called the leader. That role didn’t belong to girls.
That was my first taste of invisible leadership—doing the work, carrying the vision, making it happen—but not being recognised for it.
Leading from the sidelines
This pattern followed me. I was the oldest of six kids and naturally took charge. I helped run the household and kept things going while my parents worked hard to provide for us. I also played a lot of sport, and after training sessions, I’d sit near the adults chatting about how to solve some problem or another. I’d offer an idea—usually a good one—but it was like they couldn’t hear me. I was under twelve. I didn’t count.
And yet, not long after, they’d act on the exact thing I’d suggested.
Over time, I got used to this: influencing from the sidelines. I didn’t have the title, the credit, or the authority. But I was leading all the same.
The truth is, I learned early how the world worked—and where girls were expected to fit. I was told I had to do what the boys said. That girls shouldn’t take up space in university maths classes because we were ‘taking a boy’s place’. That I couldn’t be the leader. So I stopped trying to be seen, and just kept quietly leading.
It became a habit—staying back, making things happen behind the scenes, settling for being useful rather than recognised.
Breaking the pattern
I always felt the unfairness of it. But for a long time, I accepted it. I told myself it was just how things were. That if I worked hard enough, someone would notice.
Eventually, I realised no one was coming to offer me permission. I was already a leader. I just had to claim it.
That shift didn’t happen overnight. But it was one of the reasons I left teaching. I loved the work, and people relied on my passion and energy to carry the load—but I wasn’t being paid fairly. I wasn’t being acknowledged. I was stuck in a hierarchy that expected me to give more and settle for less.
It was the accumulation of small things—being overlooked, undervalued, under-titled—that finally tipped me into taking the leap.
Why your story matters too
- Taken charge without being asked
- Supported others behind the scenes
- Solved problems no one else could
- Been told you’re “too young,” “too quiet,” or “not what they expected”
Then you’re already a leader. And it’s time to stop waiting to be chosen.
The next step
Leadership isn’t about titles. It’s about ownership. And the moment you decide to back yourself—to stop shrinking, to stop waiting—that’s when everything begins to shift.
My journey from invisible to empowered was long and at times frustrating. But it gave me a deep understanding of how to help others make the same shift, without waiting decades.
So if you’re sitting on the sidelines, waiting for permission: this is your sign.
You don’t have to wait anymore.
Ready to stop waiting and start leading?
About Me
As a career coach and former team leader who spent years quietly influencing from the sidelines, I know what it’s like to lead without recognition. I’ve lived the experience of being overlooked—and I’ve walked the path of claiming leadership on my own terms. Now, I help professionals like you do the same.
My mission is to empower you to own your leadership identity, speak up with confidence, and create a career that reflects your true potential.
Let’s take that next step together.
Inspirational Quote
“Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.” — Simon Sinek
Final Thoughts
Your career isn’t something you wait to be handed—it’s something you shape.
You don’t need permission to lead. You already have everything you need to start showing up as the leader you are.
Join the Conversation
Have you ever led without the title?
Or felt like your leadership was invisible, even when you were the one holding things together?
I’d love to hear your story. Share it in the comments below—because the more we speak up, the more we remind others they’re not alone.
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